Gene Lyons: I wish politics was baseball

The more I see of politics, the more I love baseball. Not that this is anything new. It's pretty much the story of my life.

One anecdote my wife, Diane, sometimes wishes I wouldn't tell concerns the time I overheard a friend of hers ask why she lets me watch so much baseball on television.

Needless to say, I was in the next room watching the Red Sox. I'd muted the sound. By midseason, I know the beer commercials by heart. I also know the imaginary kingdom I call “Beer World” doesn't exist.

You know, that sports bar in the sky filled with impossibly cute, energetic, flirty young humans?

It's an ad director's fantasy. But that's another column.

A coach's daughter, Diane grew up riding all over Arkansas and Oklahoma on school buses filled with wisecracking teenage ballplayers.

If she hadn't been too young for her father's best player, Baltimore's great third baseman Brooks Robinson, I might never have stood a chance.

Anyway, I overheard her explaining to her friend that I don't tell her which flowers to plant or novels to read, and that she liked baseball.

She added that even if she'd sometimes prefer a nice Emma Thompson movie, when watching baseball I'm also A.) home, B.) sober and C.) not in some sports bar.

Baseball, see, teaches realism. Diane grew up knowing she couldn't be a second baseman, not because she was a girl, but because she's left-handed.

One of my favorite baseball proverbs is attributed to manager Earl Weaver, calming an exuberant rookie after an early season win: “This ain't a football game. We do this every day.”

Baseball also teaches patience and keeping things in perspective. My son called the night of the big stock market sell-off, the same son who'd anxiously sought reassurance during the made-for-TV debt-limit crisis.

“CNN's acting like the world's coming to an end,” he said wryly.

Over on ESPN, I answered, the Red Sox and Twins were tied in the sixth. I'd gotten my fill of CNN hysteria earlier.

Wolf Blitzer was apoplectic. It was all “Standard & Poor's” this and “Dow Jones” that. They even ran a stock ticker supposedly gauging the effectiveness of President Obama's phlegmatic remarks.

Business correspondent Ali Velshi struggled to explain the basics to the excited anchorman. Investors cashing out of stocks were buying U.S. Treasury bills.

Bond yields were dropping — precisely the opposite effect S&P's grandstanding would have caused if markets took it seriously.

Short of dousing Blitzer with a fire extinguisher, there seemed no way to make him understand. Actually, I expect he wasn't confused, but performing.

Cable news channels hype Washington melodrama to boost ratings. Absent real crises, they invent them.

Broadly speaking, Republican operatives understand this; Democrats not so much.

If it were baseball, somebody would have said that asking S&P about U.S. creditworthiness was like seeking nutritional tips from steroid abuser Jose Canseco.

S&P touted subprime junk securities as gilt-edged investments until the day Lehman Brothers chained its doors shut.

Now a baseball announcer who didn't grasp the infield fly rule, or pretended that the Yankees batting order affected their earned run average would be out of work.

Fans demand competence. Sports journalists have their faults, but they do have to get the scores right.

ESPN fielded its A-team for Sunday night's Yankees-Red Sox game. Listening to Orel Hershiser and Curt Schilling analyze Josh Beckett's performance was like a free tutorial in the art of pitching.

It helped that Schilling — whose “bloody sock” performance in Game 6 of the 2004 AL playoffs against the Yankees fans will never forget — was a right-handed power pitcher like Beckett.

Schilling can be a blowhard. I've sometimes found his political pronouncements annoying. But when the man talks pitching, listen. Hershiser was more of an artist on the mound, but his nickname was “Bulldog.”

Announcers once made a big thing of his religiosity, an odd fit with his secondary occupation as a professional poker player. But a good fit with his keen intelligence.

I've never met either man, yet I've known them both for years. Like most fans, I experience baseball as a sort of endless Victorian novel with interludes of high drama, fascinating characters and endlessly diverting subplots.

In the sixth inning with the score tied 1-1, Beckett faces the Yankees' Eric Chavez. Two outs, two on — yet another tense standoff extending in my memory to the heyday of Ted Williams and Joe DiMaggio. Full count, 3-2.

The camera shows close-ups of Beckett, then Chavez: both deadly serious, both faintly smiling. They're actually having fun. Beckett freezes Chavez with a perfect curveball. Strike three. Chavez glances toward the mound as if to say, “Wow.” Also, “I'll get even come September.”

Two big kids playing ball, 12 years old forever.

Gene Lyons is a nationally syndicated columnist who appears in The Union.

Carp chasing DiMaggio's record

ARLINGTON, Texas – Someone warn the DiMaggio family – Mike Carp is on his way.

Entering the Seattle Mariners’ 116th game of the season Wednesday, rookie Carp had a 10-game hitting streak that he was pleased about for two reason. First, it meant he’d been hitting well.

And second?

“I don’t think I’d ever played 10 consecutive games in the majors,” Carp said.

Carp has been called up to Seattle for parts of the season since 2009 and been used mostly as a pinch hitter or spot starter. Since his latest recall July 19, Carp has gotten his playing time in left field, first base and designated hitter.

What he’s done since that call-up is bat .351 with five doubles, a triple, three home runs and 16 RBI with a .375 on-base percentage.

“He’s giving us the best at-bats of anyone on the club,” manager Eric Wedge said.

As for that streak, 10 games is nice, but he had a 22-gamer in Tacoma earlier this season which ended when he was called up to Seattle and pulled from a Rainiers game in which he was 0-for-1.

“That streak was the longest of my career, anywhere,” Carp said.

Here’s the eerie part: If Carp hits in each of the remaining 46 games, he’d end the season tied with Joe DiMaggio’s record 56-game streak.

Carp isn’t planning for the party.

LUEKE LOOKS BACK

After giving up a walk and a home run in Seattle’s 7-6 loss Tuesday, rookie reliever Josh Lueke wasn’t speaking to the media, though he was polite in declining.

“I don’t talk after bad games, I never have, never will,” Lueke said Wednesday. “You wouldn’t want to talk to me after bad games. The next day, it’s forgotten, I’ll talk. Just not right after the game.”

What bothered him most?

“Throwing (Ian) Kinsler a fastball in a 2-0 count when I knew he was sitting fastball,” Lueke said, shaking his head. “Stupid!”

ERRORLESS STREAK

We bring you news which was four days old but news because, until Wednesday, no one realized it had happened.

Say what?

In Saturday’s Mariners-Angels game in Anaheim, Calif., Franklin Gutierrez tied Darin Erstad’s American League record for consecutive errorless chances by an out fielder (723) – but the baseball information department initially overlooked the record.

Gutierrez broke the record Sunday and, entering the game Wednesday in Texas, had 726 total consecutive chances since making his last error Aug. 20, 2009.

The major league record belongs to Darren Lewis (938) and was set with San Francisco and Oakland, from 1990-1994. If Gutierrez matches that, someone is bound to notice.

SHORT HOPS

Adam Kennedy wasn’t in the lineup in part because he felt a “pop” in his right heel while rounding second on a two-run triple Tuesday. He’s fine, but was given a precautionary day off. … Reliever Shawn Kelley, who’d been pitching on a rehab assignment in Tacoma, came off the 60-day disabled list. Activated and placed on the 40-man roster, Kelley was optioned to the Rainiers.

ON TAP

The Seattle Mariners have the day off before opening a three-game series with Boston on Friday at Safeco Field.

You wouldn't want to snatch this old lady's purse

We're talking 98-year-old choppers here, and we don't mean false teeth.

Keiko Fukuda became the first woman — and only the 16th person ever — to achieve a 10th-degree black belt in judo, her hometown San Francisco Chronicle reported.

She began her quest in 1935.

News flash

Dateline Columbus: Ohio State officials ban "JT" wristbands, but tell football players it's OK to keep wearing the Maurice Clarett ankle bracelets.

Just wondering

• So what do you tell NASCAR driver Brad Keselowski for good luck before his next race — break the other leg?

• Is a baseball player who uses deer-antler spray referring to his batting slump or his libido when he remarks, "I've been in a rut lately"?

• Think the next barbershop calendar ought to feature A-Rod playing poker with the dogs?

• Shouldn't Penn State do the right thing and check out Joe Paterno some hip and shoulder pads?

Mail demographic

The first of four baseball greats to be honored on a U.S. forever stamp: Joe DiMaggio.

Or as the stamp is now known in postal circles, The Yankee Shipper.

Bullish on Pats fans

Receiver Chad Ochocinco, announcing he wants to live with a Patriots fan for a few weeks until he gets acclimated to his new city, says he isn't worried he might land with a crazy one.

As he told ESPN.com: "I rode a bull."

Voting absentee

Simply out of habit, you'd assume, the Big 12 asked Colorado soccer coach Bill Hempen if he wanted to nominate any of his players for preseason All-Big 12 honors.

Just one problem: The Buffs are now in the Pac-12.

"As much as we miss the Big 12," Hempen told the Denver Post, "I doubt if any of our players would get any votes."

Quote marks

• Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, on the NFL's new random tests for human growth hormone: "Why random? I'm no doctor, but wouldn't it be smart to target the guys whose necks are roughly the width of their shoulders?"

• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, after the mayor of Vilnius, Lithuania, a strong advocate for pedal power, drove a tank into a Mercedes parked in a bike lane: "Consider it hitting for the cycle."

• Comedy writer Alan Ray, on Cowboys owner Jerry Jones not taking exhibition games too seriously: "He only interferes during the first quarter."

• Budd Bailey of the Buffalo News, on pizza-chain mogul Alex Meruelo saying he'll keep the Hawks in Atlanta: "Basketball fans were happy he didn't buy it to go."

Just kidding

Real Madrid has signed a 7-year-old soccer prodigy from Argentina who goes by the name of Leo.

Baseball is the talk of the town again

Flying below the radar in Cranbrook these days is Baseball - you know, hardball - the kind Babe Ruth Lou Gehrig and Ty Cobb played back in the day.

The Home Run Society of Cranbrook and Kimberley, headed by Garry Slownowski has been working diligently to build a top notch baseball facility up at picturesque Moir Park.

I spoke with Ray Chadwick recently about baseball here in Cranbrook. Ray is a former Major league pitcher who now runs the hugely successful baseball program at Thompson River University in Kamloops. Ray is also a baseball coach for Team Canada.

He told me that there is a buzz in baseball circles around B.C. and Washington State that Cranbrook will be coming into the league in the not too distant future. Lethbridge, Medicine Hat, Trail, Kelowna, Kamloops, as well as Langley, Burnaby and Victoria comprise most of the teams in the league.These clubs also play a few tournaments as well during the summer when Canadian ball players are home for the summer from the US..

Baseball was very popular here in Cranbrook and Kimberley back in the 1950s and 60s. Alan Fabro, a standout catcher from Kimberley, signed a sizeable bonus contract with the Pittsburgh Pirates in the early 1960s. Fabby had all the tools to make it to the Majors, a rocket launcher for an arm and an intuitive ability to call pitches on a hitter. He also had complete confidence in his ability behind the plate, and woe to the baserunner who tried to score by running through Alan. The runner always got the worst of it.

Bob OBrien, now a doctor in the area, was a terrific catcher as a teenager growing up in Kimberley, but chose the books over baseball.

Not that i am partial to catchers, but there was also Bob Nizer James who was an awesome catcher in his own right for the kimberley Tempests in Junior Baseball. James could really work the opposing pitcher till he got his pitch. That batting method takes a great deal of patience and smarts. and Nizer certainly had both of these. Bob was not as flashy as Fabro and OBrien but he was very savvy behind the dish, and very aggressive throwing behind runners at first base. With a little more foot speed James could have gone somewhere with baseball.

Eddy Mountain, who ran the Mount Baker Hotel in Cranbrook, had a big influence in town sponsoring promoting and coaching his baseball team. One summer he did the unheard of and actually brought in a ball player from California. Bob Garcia played shortstop and pitched here while working for Mountain at the Mount Baker.

Garcia was a perfect compliment for locals Marv Ferg, Pat Askew, Howie Heggedahl Don Stuart ,and Mike Wheaton, all pretty good local talent. Eddy Mountains brother in law, Danny Sully Sullivan of Kimberley BC was a hot shortstop with serious range, a deadly accurate arm, and a vacuum cleaner for a glove - a pleasure to watch in the field.

Back to the present, baseball in Cranbrook has been making a resurgence with the Bandits playing great ball and a flourishing minor ball program. Senior baseball in Cranbrook is doing well with two teams playing in a league with Fernie, Sparwood and Kimberley.

At the beginning of the article i mentioned Lou Gehrig of the New York Yankees.Mr. Gehrig played 2130 consecutive games at first base during the 1920s and 30s. He came out of the lineup with the illness that was to kill him on May 2, 1939.

His position at first base that day against Detroit was taken by Babe Dahlgren, my baseball coach when I played in a California Winter League in 1967 1968 in Arcadia California.

Babe always wore his Yankee ball cap to our practices and games with a great deal of pride. The day he went in to play first for Gehrig, Babe Dahlgren hit a home run. He mentioned that to me one day while we were sitting on the bench after practice.

I recently googled my coaches name and there it was May 2, 1939, a home run against the Detroit Tigers.Babe played 12 years in the Majors and was considered the best fielding first baseman in the American League for three seasons.

A curious fact about the end of Lou Gehrigs remarkable string of 2130 games played with out missing a day was the man Lou went in for, Wally Pipp was at Briggs Stadium in Detroit to watch the game when Gehrig ended his streak. Pipp had a headache when he was the first baseman of the Yankees and lost his job to Lou Gehrig.

Babe Dahlgren was chums with Joe DiMaggio when they played for the Bronx Bombers, and actually went to dinner a few times with Joe and Marilyn Monroe.

Now as a kid from Kimberley BC, I could not believe my good luck to be sitting on the bench hearing all these great true stories from my baseball coach Babe Dahlgren.

An important part of baseball history here in the East Kootenays was the Kimberley Senior teams Hobos and Dynamos. Two of the best hockey players in town were two of the best ball players - - Kenny McTeer and Les Lilley. Ken was a standout centrefielder and Les was a terrific left fielder and was a base stealer par excellence.

Colin Patterson was a really good second baseman for the B.P.O.E.Angels. He played error free ball and hit for average. Colin had a career in hockey, playing and coaching.

An important aspect of a baseball facility and team here in Cranbrook is economic. All of the ball clubs stay in hotels and motels and eat out in restaurants The parents of the ball players come to visit their sons and watch games, and they too spend money in town.

The baseball tournament held in Grand Forks on Labor Day brings in over $100,000 to the community.

Last but not least, probably the best baseball player to come out of Cranbrook would be Tyson Arishenkoff who was a slick fielding short stop at Louisiana State University, playing on a full scholarship. Tyson was also a playing coach for the Lethbridge Bulls and played pro ball in Evansville Indiana one summer, as well as a year in pro baseball in Holland. Tyson would be an excellent choice to throw out the first pitch at the new ballpark at Moir Field . In Cranbrook, we have Wal Mart, Super Store, Home Depot, and a soon to be open Wendys. Can a baseball park and a baseball team be far behind? Hopefully not .